The Gift by Hafsha Dadabhai Shaikh
I have often wondered on the gift of doing my Masters in Education. The value of doing study over three years alongside managing a full time business, a full time home life and coping with the many slings and arrows life throws. One of those being a global pandemic which not only curtailed the do’s and don'ts of research for a dissertation, but left the world and myself reeling with the tragedy of loss and supporting the many families and communities I work with.
The first two years of study gave me many opportunities to run - run away from myself. To file away hopes of completing an MA and importantly to share the realities of real people and their lives. My terrors saw me flee from my classes, deleting the saved documents and files on the Desktop. I had all my excuses ready. I had my reasons for returning the gift. Time after time the Imposter's voice in my head shrieked and time and time again I slayed the Imposter and soon “the just one more week” syndrome passed.
During those two years somehow and somewhere ‘the gift’ changed. It became “my gift” and something that I wanted to keep and cherish. It changed my thinking, the language I used ,new words and new paradigms. My work with the communities became my research. My case studies were all around me. Their lives, their realities became my reason. Their worries of managing in a digital world, with no data, devices or skills. Their anxieties and words clouded my thoughts on my long and lonely walks as I tried to understand more deeply.
I approached my final year with a sense of excitement and worry. Virtual lectures and learning in a new world was difficult, yet came with the excitement of a gift, wrapped beautifully providing few clues on what the packaging contained. My interest and influence in the debate of digital exclusion was growing. The reality of digital exclusion - its profound impact on the now and the future for disadvantaged communities was something I witnessed everyday. I questioned, did they not understand the digital world or did it not understand them? More importantly my voice was being heard by policy makers, organisations, business, banking, health and the media. They were all now asking the question of themselves. I felt my gift was being re gifted and shared many times over.
My research gave me the opportunity to unwrap the gift, to understand and to present the evidence. It gave me validity and the confidence to be part of the many national and international conferences I was asked to present at - including at the launch of the Lloyds Bank Consumer Digital Index for the last 2 years. More so, it continues to open many other doors, both professionally and personally. It continues to make me ask the questions and to boldly seek out answers. So yes, sometimes the value of a gift is only appreciated much later, if only we can be brave enough to hold onto it for a little longer.
(March 2023)
